Holiday Grief Blues and Ciara's Birthday… Whew!💜
by Sharon Leonard | Founder, Grief's Light Outreach
The holidays are approaching, and if I'm being transparent, this season brings a mixture of emotions. There's joy, gratitude, beautiful memories, and then there's that familiar ache of missing my daughter, Ciara.
November 19, 2000, was the day God blessed me with my beautiful daughter. Every year, as her birthday approaches, my heart feels the weight of her absence a little differently. And with Thanksgiving and Christmas right around the corner, whew! Sometimes it's a lot for one mother's heart to carry.
Ciara would always help me decorate for the season. Those ordinary moments of putting up decorations, sharing laughter, and preparing our home have become some of my most treasured memories.
Now, when I pull out the decorations, I'm reminded of the hands that once helped me and the beautiful memories we created together.
Grief has a way of making ordinary moments extraordinary once they're gone.
Honoring Ciara, One Birthday at a Time
One thing about my Ciara: she loved sushi!
Every November 19, I honor her birthday by enjoying sushi. It's a simple tradition, but it holds so much meaning.
I may not be able to celebrate her birthday the way I once did, but I can still celebrate her life and the love we shared.
Sometimes remembrance looks like lighting a candle, preparing a favorite meal, looking through photographs, or simply speaking our children's names.
For me, sushi has become more than a meal. It's a beautiful reminder that love doesn't end when a life does.
There Is a Season for Everything
Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us:
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven."Â (KJV)
In verses 2–4, Solomon reminds us that life includes times of weeping, laughing, mourning, and dancing.
What encourages me about this passage is that God acknowledges the different seasons of our lives. Scripture doesn't suggest that we must always be joyful or that mourning is somehow a failure of faith.
There is room for both.
I've learned that I can miss Ciara deeply and still experience moments of happiness. I can cry while remembering yesterday and smile while creating something beautiful today.
Creating new memories doesn't mean I'm leaving my daughter behind. It means I'm learning to carry her love into another season of my life.
When the Holiday Blues Come
I won't pretend the holidays without Ciara have been easy. They haven't.
There are moments when I miss the way things used to be. But I've also learned to give myself permission to do things differently.
Some traditions remain. Others have changed.
And that's okay.
Psalm 34:18 tells us:
"The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit."Â (KJV)
David reminds us that God is near to those whose hearts are broken. His presence doesn't mean we won't experience sorrow. It means we don't have to carry that sorrow without Him.
There have been moments when my heart was heavy, but my faith reminded me that God was still near.
As I often say, "My belief held my grief."
New Memories, New Mercies
One of the most encouraging passages I've embraced is Lamentations 3:22–23:
"It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness."Â (KJV)
These words were written in the midst of tremendous sorrow and suffering. Yet, even in his lament, Jeremiah recognized God's faithfulness.
That speaks to my heart.
God's new mercies don't erase yesterday's pain, but they give us grace for today.
Creating new memories has helped me embrace those mercies. I can honor the beautiful memories I shared with Ciara while allowing myself to experience new moments of love, laughter, and gratitude.
A Gentle Reminder to Every Grieving Mama
Mama, as the holidays approach, please give yourself permission to grieve in your own way.
You don't have to decorate, attend every gathering, or pretend you're okay.
And if you find yourself smiling, laughing, or enjoying a holiday tradition, don't feel guilty.
Your joy does not diminish your love for your child.
This November 19, I'll remember my beautiful Ciara, celebrate her life, and yes, enjoy some sushi in her honor.
I'll continue creating new memories while holding tightly to the ones we shared.
My prayer is that you, too, will find moments of comfort, strength, and peace this holiday season.
At Grief's Light Outreach, we understand that grief doesn't take a holiday. We are here to walk alongside you, mother to mother.
You are seen. You are loved. You are not alone. 💜🕊️
With love and understanding,
Sharon Leonard, Founder
Grief's Light Outreach
Comments